Flatxenwap is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, sage wasp.

Flatxenwap created a quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatxenwap, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Flatxenwap, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Flatxenwap's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Flatxenwap's Holy Commandments

1. Always help moths.

2. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

3. Always make sure there are no rats in a room before entering it.

4. Do not shave your legs.

5. Erect three platinum sculptures of Flatxenwap on top of important buildings.