Butbeplik is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, humorless alligator.

Butbeplik created Asia five billion years ago.

If you believe in Butbeplik, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Butbeplik, it will jump up and down on your head.

Butbeplik's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Butbeplik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Nematodes are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always make sure there are no sharks in a room before entering it.