Vigpangsig is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, omnipotent cow.

Vigpangsig created the planet Mars nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vigpangsig, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Vigpangsig, he will turn you into a goat.

Vigpangsig's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Vigpangsig's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Vigpangsig.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always stare at clouds.