Japhonbog is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, smart gnu.

Japhonbog created Europe three million years ago.

If you believe in Japhonbog, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Japhonbog, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Japhonbog's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Japhonbog's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about amino acids.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snails.

5. Never write about nebulae.