Saspigpig is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, merciful alligator.

Saspigpig created life three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Saspigpig, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Saspigpig, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Saspigpig's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Saspigpig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick mice.

2. Never sing in the presence of nematodes.

3. Never talk about dogs.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always help mites.