Flowkabren is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, pitiless gerbil.

Flowkabren created the universe seven million years ago.

If you believe in Flowkabren, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Flowkabren, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Flowkabren's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Flowkabren's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not wear carbon on your body.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Flowkabren.