Podnabrigpakfitquafrut is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, conceited dryad.

Podnabrigpakfitquafrut created an electron eight million years ago.

If you believe in Podnabrigpakfitquafrut, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Podnabrigpakfitquafrut, she will make you grow a tail.

Podnabrigpakfitquafrut's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Podnabrigpakfitquafrut's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Podnabrigpakfitquafrut.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. You must never eat bananas.

4. Run away if three mice approach from the south.

5. Never wear shirts.