Cumcardad is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, narcissistic frog.

Cumcardad created the planet Jupiter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cumcardad, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Cumcardad, he will turn you into a frog.

Cumcardad's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Cumcardad's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear brown skirts.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Run away if four monkeys approach from the east.

4. Cumcardad loves otters, so they must be respected.

5. Aardvarks are not to be trusted.