Hubkarxen is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, intelligent dingo.

Hubkarxen created gold three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hubkarxen, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Hubkarxen, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Hubkarxen's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Hubkarxen's Holy Commandments

1. Hubkarxen loves sharks, so they must be honoured.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never think ill of sick cats.

4. Never hurt great tits.

5. Do not speak about turnips.