Japbinflap is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, stupid gerbil.

Japbinflap created an electron six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Japbinflap, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Japbinflap, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Japbinflap's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Japbinflap's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never wear cyan jumpers.

3. Do not take Japbinflap's name in vain.

4. Do not hurt pigs.

5. Never wear kilts.