Dapflatyarl is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, caring walrus.

Dapflatyarl created a Higgs boson four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dapflatyarl, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Dapflatyarl, he will turn you into a hamster.

Dapflatyarl's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Dapflatyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

3. Never write about asteroids.

4. Always obey Dapflatyarl's priests.

5. Do not listen to music.