Jonmadfet is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, selfish bat.

Jonmadfet created an atom eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonmadfet, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Jonmadfet, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Jonmadfet's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Jonmadfet's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear corsets.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Put Jonmadfet first in all things.

4. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a room before entering it.

5. Always help sick pigs.