Dinvabven is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, humane donkey.

Dinvabven created snails twelve years ago.

If you believe in Dinvabven, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Dinvabven, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Dinvabven's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Dinvabven's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear yellow.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Always help squirrels in need.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never sit near shrews.