Omincarrenhadjen Rotarpmut is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, compassionate jellyfish.

Omincarrenhadjen Rotarpmut created a strange quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Omincarrenhadjen Rotarpmut, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Omincarrenhadjen Rotarpmut, he will turn you into a goat.

Omincarrenhadjen Rotarpmut's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Omincarrenhadjen Rotarpmut's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never jump near tapirs.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Run away from black bats, for they are unholy.

5. Do not shave your face.