Xempigdid is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, weak clam.

Xempigdid created snails three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xempigdid, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Xempigdid, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Xempigdid's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Xempigdid's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never eat tomatoes.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.