Japzedham is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, wise fly.

Japzedham created the Sol system two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Japzedham, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Japzedham, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Japzedham's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Japzedham's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Japzedham must be the most important thing in your life.