Quartjinmut is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, omnipotent fox.

Quartjinmut created the planet Earth two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartjinmut, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Quartjinmut, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Quartjinmut's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Quartjinmut's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never laugh in holy places.

4. Never look at moons.

5. Never think about cell theory.