Armcumlap is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, dishonest unicorn.

Armcumlap created Africa six million years ago.

If you believe in Armcumlap, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Armcumlap, it will refuse to believe in you.

Armcumlap's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Armcumlap's Holy Commandments

1. Always help pigs.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not kill dogs.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never go into indigo rooms.