Carfutbun is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, vain tapir.

Carfutbun created a bottom quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Carfutbun, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Carfutbun, she will jump up and down on your head.

Carfutbun's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Carfutbun's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry squirrels.

2. Always make sure there are no cats in a building before entering it.

3. Carfutbun loves bats, so they must be respected.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Do not drink alcohol.