Tofkenwap is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, unfair beaver.

Tofkenwap created the Milkyway two million years ago.

If you believe in Tofkenwap, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tofkenwap, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Tofkenwap's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Tofkenwap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill ants.

2. Never paint your legs white.

3. Do not take Tofkenwap's name in vain.

4. Never look at nebulae.

5. Always wear pink.