Laptipyarl is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, contented monkey.

Laptipyarl created life three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Laptipyarl, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Laptipyarl, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Laptipyarl's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Laptipyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. You must pray to Laptipyarl six times a day.

5. Always help sick geese.