Watsawsaw is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, conceited swan.

Watsawsaw created the planet Earth eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Watsawsaw, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Watsawsaw, it will send minions to preach to you.

Watsawsaw's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Watsawsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt porpoises.

2. Do not take Watsawsaw's name in vain.

3. Run away if six pigs approach from the west.

4. Do not kill swans.

5. Never write about galaxies.