Gablabtail is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, witty seal.

Gablabtail created the Sun three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gablabtail, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gablabtail, she will jump up and down on your head.

Gablabtail's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Gablabtail's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. You must love Gablabtail.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate birds.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never talk about black holes.