Ontflanmifben is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, unselfish lion.

Ontflanmifben created humankind six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontflanmifben, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Ontflanmifben, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Ontflanmifben's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Ontflanmifben's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not laugh in public.

3. Ontflanmifben loves snakes, so they must be respected.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Ontflanmifben must be the most important thing in your life.