Funnarlxen is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unthinking parrot.

Funnarlxen created water seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Funnarlxen, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Funnarlxen, it will have a low opinion of you.

Funnarlxen's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Funnarlxen's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Funnarlxen.

2. You must never eat lentils.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not drink water in green rooms.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.