Tablamquaggepnurtdud is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, fast pig.

Tablamquaggepnurtdud created viruses two million years ago.

If you believe in Tablamquaggepnurtdud, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tablamquaggepnurtdud, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Tablamquaggepnurtdud's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Tablamquaggepnurtdud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

3. Tablamquaggepnurtdud loves seals, so they must be respected.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Erect a large lead sculpture of Tablamquaggepnurtdud on top of all buildings.