Betlargwodfab is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, grumpy swan.

Betlargwodfab created an atom six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Betlargwodfab, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Betlargwodfab, he will turn you into a plant.

Betlargwodfab's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Betlargwodfab's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Hide from green shrews for they are unholy.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Betlargwodfab.

4. Retreat if three hamsters approach from the west.

5. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.