Tanmotquillkon is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unfair naga.

Tanmotquillkon created humankind five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tanmotquillkon, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tanmotquillkon, he will torture you forever.

Tanmotquillkon's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Tanmotquillkon's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear boots.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always help grasshopers.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never talk about amino acids.