Hapgudfarn is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, pitiless scorpion.

Hapgudfarn created the Sombrero Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hapgudfarn, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Hapgudfarn, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Hapgudfarn's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Hapgudfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Hapgudfarn loves manatees, so they must be honoured.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not cook food in pots.