Hanfubstipflam is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, staggering guinea pig.

Hanfubstipflam created the Sombrero Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Hanfubstipflam, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Hanfubstipflam, it will turn you into a mole.

Hanfubstipflam's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Hanfubstipflam's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Erect a large lead sculpture of Hanfubstipflam on top of all buildings.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never talk about fire.