Ingbapbum is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, staggering crab.

Ingbapbum created Africa five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ingbapbum, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Ingbapbum, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Ingbapbum's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Ingbapbum's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Erect a large tin sculpture of Ingbapbum on top of all buildings.

5. Put Ingbapbum first in all things.