Bampanbadtar is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, humorless wren.

Bampanbadtar created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bampanbadtar, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bampanbadtar, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bampanbadtar's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Bampanbadtar's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear turquoise.

2. Hide if four tapirs approach from the south.

3. Never bounce near pigs.

4. Do not wear silver on your body.

5. Never eat bark.