Lagyarpquill is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, dishonest jellyfish.

Lagyarpquill created time and space two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lagyarpquill, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Lagyarpquill, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Lagyarpquill's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Lagyarpquill's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about comets.

2. Never hurt otters.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Never paint your back pink.