Tentalpithab is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, dishonest zebra.

Tentalpithab created dark energy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tentalpithab, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tentalpithab, he will think nothing of it.

Tentalpithab's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Tentalpithab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about amino acids.

2. Never paint your head fawn.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Always help otters.