Gemhapjad is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, prudent hydra.

Gemhapjad created the planet Jupiter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemhapjad, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gemhapjad, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Gemhapjad's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Gemhapjad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Gemhapjad's name in vain.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never laugh in holy places.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Erect a large tin sculpture of Gemhapjad on top of all buildings.