Vabgoftig is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, tiresome squirrel.

Vabgoftig created matter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Vabgoftig, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Vabgoftig, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Vabgoftig's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Vabgoftig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Always wear indigo.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Do not speak about carrots.

5. Never think about asteroids.