Nuttsternig is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, fussy spider.

Nuttsternig created the Cigar Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nuttsternig, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Nuttsternig, he will destroy your home solar system.

Nuttsternig's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Nuttsternig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not hurt sharks.

3. Never wear shirts.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always obey Nuttsternig's priests.