Fotzogvig is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, self-assured owl.

Fotzogvig created Europe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fotzogvig, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Fotzogvig, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Fotzogvig's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Fotzogvig's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your face turquoise.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never wear scarves.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.