Funfadlat is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, astonishing swallow.

Funfadlat created the universe two billion years ago.

If you believe in Funfadlat, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Funfadlat, she will laugh at you.

Funfadlat's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Funfadlat's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Funfadlat on top of all buildings.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always stare at clouds.