Femsomzan is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, bad-tempered dingo.

Femsomzan created humankind three million years ago.

If you believe in Femsomzan, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Femsomzan, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Femsomzan's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Femsomzan's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large gold sculpture of Femsomzan on top of all buildings.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never hurt sheep.

4. Worship no other gods but Femsomzan.

5. Fast once a month.