Gudstikfag is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, staggering monkey.

Gudstikfag created Mount Everest eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gudstikfag, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gudstikfag, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Gudstikfag's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Gudstikfag's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate swans.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never think about planets.

4. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

5. Do not chop down trees.