Zagweekipdit is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, fast seal.

Zagweekipdit created the universe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Zagweekipdit, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Zagweekipdit, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Zagweekipdit's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Zagweekipdit's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of hamsters.

2. Always look after injured grasshopers.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never write about nebulae.