Flan is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, sapient newt.

Flan created the Virgo Supercluster five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flan, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Flan, he will manifest in front of you.

Flan's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Flan's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no shrews in a room before entering it.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never play with disobedient children.