Rilvenpin is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, clever bird.

Rilvenpin created the Andromeda Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rilvenpin, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Rilvenpin, she will turn you into a rat.

Rilvenpin's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Rilvenpin's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in the presence of sheep.

2. Never paint your back turquoise.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Put Rilvenpin first in all things.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.