Xemlatflig is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, merciful bat.

Xemlatflig created time and space six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xemlatflig, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Xemlatflig, she will remove you from existence.

Xemlatflig's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Xemlatflig's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your head pink.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never skip in the presence of tortoises.

4. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

5. Do not eat tomatoes.