Jamkinmad Rillflamrip is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, generous wombat.

Jamkinmad Rillflamrip created carbon three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jamkinmad Rillflamrip, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Jamkinmad Rillflamrip, she will turn you into a plant.

Jamkinmad Rillflamrip's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Jamkinmad Rillflamrip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill birds.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Run away from white snails, for they are unholy.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Jamkinmad Rillflamrip.