Mettarpbeg is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, staggering naga.

Mettarpbeg created humankind seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mettarpbeg, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Mettarpbeg, he will turn you into a mouse.

Mettarpbeg's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Mettarpbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never write about planets.

4. Erect six gold sculptures of Mettarpbeg on top of important buildings.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.