Quartkarfas is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, staggering spider.

Quartkarfas created Mount Everest nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartkarfas, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Quartkarfas, she will think nothing of it.

Quartkarfas' most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Quartkarfas' Holy Commandments

1. Quartkarfas loves manatees, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not trade with those who eat corn.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate aardvarks.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.