Janbedjab Stikhotlist Lambotged is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, merciful spider.

Janbedjab Stikhotlist Lambotged created a strange quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Janbedjab Stikhotlist Lambotged, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Janbedjab Stikhotlist Lambotged, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Janbedjab Stikhotlist Lambotged's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Janbedjab Stikhotlist Lambotged's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Do not hurt otters.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Put Janbedjab Stikhotlist Lambotged first in all things.

5. Never eat bark.