Jabfumban is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, temperamental cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Jabfumban created the Black Eye Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Jabfumban, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Jabfumban, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Jabfumban's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Jabfumban's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt hamsters.

2. Do not eat parsnips.

3. Do not hurt aardvarks.

4. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

5. Always help grasshopers in need.